Would you rather be fat or have a mood disorder? Win a prize!

Because those are your two choices, if you listen to the hype around the latest in the slew of anti-obesity sweepstakes entrants, known generically as taranabant. Amid the hysterical buzz that's been making the rounds online, we're now beginning to see mention of "psychiatric side effects." This Scientific American article describes side effects as "nausea, vomiting, and moodiness," and goes on to explain that taranabant is what's known as a cannabinoid antagonist, meaning it blocks the receptors in the brain that are activated by cannabis sativa, or pot. So instead of giving you the munchies, this drug takes away appetite; instead of calming, it "activates," or makes people irritable and anxious.

But wait--I have a better idea. And you can win a prize! Keep reading.

Can me say first how much I hate the photo and headline that ran with this story, too? The head was "New Diet Drug in the Battle of the Bulge," and it ran with this image.

My interpretation of the phrase "battle of the bulge" is people who want to lose 10 or 20 or 30 pounds—who want to be in the lower end of their setpoint range rather than the higher end. This is hardly what even the medical profession would label "obesity." I suppose this image is better than the one that ran with a report on a site called Dogflu.ca., which I'm not going to reproduce here because it's so exploitative.

I think we need an anti-anti-obesity drug marketing campaign, and drugs like this give us the perfect material. We could start by resurrecting the old "This is your brain on drugs" ad campaign. See the fun that's possible?

Let's have a little friendly competition, in fact. You write a clever tagline to go with this new drug, and I'll send a prize to a couple of lucky winners. Ready, set, go.