Good Morning America: Cancelled

Please note that my Good Morning America appearance, scheduled for 8/24, has been cancelled for reasons beyond my control.

But there are plenty of other stops along the book tour! Next week: a talk/reading at the Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt in Baltimore, and a stop at the Diane Rehm Show in D.C.

Please pass the word about the book--my publisher tells me that early sales figures are the most important. I'd love to see the book gain some momentum in the first weeks after it goes on sale 8/24.

Thanks for all your support!

*I don't know why this image from Mrs. Doubtfire comes up when you search for brave girl eating, but it amuses me.

5 warning signs that your child might have anorexia

Read it at Brave Girl Eating, my blog on Psychology Today's website, and please pass the information to any parents you know who might need the information.

How I wish I'd had this list before Kitty got sick.

Sheppard Pratt Q&A, part III

I'm looking forward to speaking at the Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt in Baltimore next Wednesday, Aug. 25, at 7 p.m. I'll be talking about and reading from Brave Girl Eating. Please come out and say hey if you're in the Baltimore area!

Meanwhile, check out Part III of an online Q&A I did with them, which includes 4 essential tips for parents.

For a complete list of stops on the book tour, click here. Hope to see you somewhere along the way.

Memoirville

Here's an interesting interview about Brave Girl Eating on Memoirville, home of Smith Magazine's Six-Word Memoir Project. You'll have to get all the way to the end to read mine.

Note to self: Do not drop the F bomb during interviews.

When families deal with health crises

If your family has ever dealt with a health crisis--whether it's an eating disorder or not--you've probably noticed that some friends step up while others back away. This New York Times piece looks at some of the very common and human reasons why we all back away sometimes, and offers advice for how to be a better friend when those you love are going through something big.

And if you'd care to join an online discussion on the subject, you can do that here.

Jezebel on parents and eating disorders

Jezebel writer Anna North put up a piece today based on an interview we did last week about not just my new book, Brave Girl Eating, but the whole notion of family-based treatment.

The comments, sadly, reveal some of the biases against FBT (the Maudsley approach). Take a look and leave a comment if you are so moved--I think Jezebel readers would benefit by hearing from some who have had positive experiences with FBT.

I'm off to do some deep breathing.

She's not that skinny. Is she?

Why you can't tell if someone has anorexia just by looking. Read about it on my new blog, Brave Girl Eating, here at Psychology Today.

Photo © Steve Pope Photography

We need more FBT therapists!

If you're a therapist who treats eating disorders and you'd like to become certified to do family-based treatment (also known as the Maudsley approach), you're in luck. The Training Institute for Child and Adolescent Eating Disorders, run by Drs. Daniel le Grange and James Lock, is hosting a two-day training in Chicago, September 13-14.

For information and to register, visit the Training Institute's website. Because heaven knows we need more FBT therapists around the country/world!

"My daughter's not fat"

This kind of nightmare is what happens, folks, when we have mandated "reporting" of BMIs and other ridiculous "measures" of thinness/fatness. Especially for children, who are still growing and who do not grow in a linear fashion.

This particular incident happened in the UK. But it could easily happen here, now that states like Arkansas and New York require it, and other states are considering it.

You say that this is an extreme case? That overall, BMI reporting is a good idea? Read these talking points from the Eating Disorders Coalition.

Our language around these issues is loaded and complex, because we have made it so. We've made fat a dirty word that connotes so many negative qualities: lazy, greedy, sloppy, messy, stupid, unattractive . . . . No wonder 11-year-old Katie Owen reacted the way she did. She's not the first, and she will not be the last.

Brave Girl Eating: Q&A, Part II

The second part of the Q&A on Sheppard Pratt's blog is now live. I hope you'll check it out. Drop me a comment if you're in Baltimore and think you might make the reading--I'd love to meet you!

Brave Girl Eating: Q&A

In preparation for my upcoming book talk at the Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt, the kind folks there are posting a Q&A interview on their blog over the next 10 days or so. Part 1 is up. And if you're going to be in Baltimore on August 25, please stop by the reading--I think it's going to be an inspiring event.

100,000 hits

When I started this blog in 2006, I had no idea I'd still be at it four years later.

Today, the 100,000th visitor stopped by the blog. I realize that's not a huge number, given stats on the big blogs. But for a little independent blog like this, it feels huge.

So thank you to my readers, those who agree with my opinions and those who don't, those who educate me and those who merely lurk. I am richer for having you as part of my community, and I hope I've offered something back in return.

As a way to say thank you, I'm going to run a book giveaway on the site. Stay tuned for details!

Don't get mad. Get out your Exacto knife.

That's what this furious citizen did when confronted by an offensive ad for thin pretzels.

What if we all "corrected" ads like this? They can't arrest all of us. . . .

Annals of retouching disaster: The Ann Taylor shirt

Thanks to a technical screw-up by someone at Ann Taylor (I'm thinking heads will roll over this), Jezebel was able to grab screen captures of a model before and after retouching.

Here's what the site ran:



You can see the work that's been done. As Jezebel put it, the "unretouched thumbnails . . . transform [models] into ribless monstrosities."

The model on the left--the unretouched one--is beautiful, shapely, and wears the clothing well. So why, why, why turn her into the absurd image on the right? I don't think it's enough to cite the pursuit of thinness. The model on the left is already thin--you can see her ribs, for God's sake. I think there's something more at stake here. Something that has to do less with beauty-qua-beauty and more to do with how women are perceived in 21st-century America--and how we perceive ourselves.

I can't help thinking about the timing of all these retouching debacles. There was the Calvin Klein photoshop disaster:



Then there was the Self magazine Kelly Clarkson debacle (see below).



Technology has something to do with it, of course. We photoshop because we can, because human beings are compulsive changers-of-reality and even more relentless self-improvers, and can't pass up an opportunity to "iimprove" ourselves.

Except that these kinds of "improvements" are so far out of the mainstream, no one (I hope) would confuse them with reality. Which brings me back to the idea that there's something more going on here.

Women have never been as powerful in America as we are today. And even though we still have a ways to go (can you say "woman president in my lifetime?), we've made enormous progress since I was a young thing. And thanks to the Great Recession, women's work and employment levels may be surpassing men's for the first time.

And maybe that's the problem. Maybe the Trojan Horse of self-loathing embodied in images like these is meant to put us uppity women in our place. I've said it before and I'll say it again: So long as we're obsessed with our appearance, our looks, how thin we are or aren't, we're missing the boat on a whole lot of more important issues.

I can't help thinking there's a connection.

Psychology Today

Over the next few months I'll be blogging over at Psychology Today as well as here on Feed Me!. PT has an impressive roster of bloggers who tackle some fascinating issues, and I'm honored to be among them. I'll link to my posts there, starting with my inaugural post; those posts will focus on eating disorders. I'll still post here about other issues of interest.

If you head over there and read the blog, and like it, leave a comment if you would--make me feel at home there. :)

Happy Monday!

Book tour!

The last few weeks have seen a lot of action on the book tour front. I'll be traveling quite a bit to readings, events, and conferences to talk about Brave Girl Eating: A Family's Struggle with Anorexia.

I thought I'd post an up-to-the-minute calendar of where I'm scheduled to be so far, with more to come. You can also look for my schedule here. If you come to a reading, please introduce yourself! I look forward to meeting some of you while I'm on the road.

8/24: Appearance on Good Morning America, 7 a.m.?
8/25: Reading at Sheppard Pratt Center for Eating Disorders, Baltimore, 7-9 p.m. in the conference center
9/20 The Book House, Albany, NY, 7 p.m.
8/26: Appearance on the Diane Rehm Show, 10 a.m.-noon
9/24: Presentation/book talk, Lake Forest College, 10 a.m., Lake Forest, IL
10/1: Reading/book talk, University of Wisconsin, Room 1244, Health Science Learning Center, noon
10/2: Reading/book talk, Wisconsin Book Festival, 10 a.m., A Room of One's Own Bookstore, Madison, WI
10/4: Reading/book talk, Moline Public Library, 10 a.m. (subject to change in location)
10/4: Talk/reading, Quad Cities Eating Disorder Consortium training for therapists, 3 p.m., Moline, IL
10/10: Presentation with Dr. Walter Kaye, National Eating Disorders Association annual conference, 3 p.m., Brooklyn, NY
1/21: Presentation/book talk, Maudsley Parents conference, University of California San Diego, 11:30 a.m., San Diego, CA

Poor Dr. Lundberg

Apparently Dr. George Lundberg is a little upset because back in 2004, he put forth his ingenious stop-obesity plan and it didn't work. And it didn't work, he tells us, because fat people just didn't listen to his plan, which is really simple and practical when you think about it. It consists of two words:

Stop eating.

Dr. Lundberg goes on to clarify what he means:

I did not say fast; I did not say starve. I said Stop Eating too much; stop eating high calorie snacks between meals, stop eating everything on your plate; stop eating such large portions; stop eating desserts; stop routinely eating bread and butter; stop eating three full meals a day when two are enough; stop eating fats and refined carbohydrates when you can eat fresh fruits and vegetables and complex carbohydrates.

And while you are at it, STOP DRINKING alcohol and sugary drinks.

I wonder if Dr. Lundberg understands anything at all about metabolism. If he did, I suspect he would not so angrily and aggressively put forth his diet plan--because that's what it is, a diet plan, one built on restriction. He would know that dieting, restricting, whatever you want to call it, ultimately makes people fatter, not thinner. He would show more sensitivity to the link between dieting (or restricting, etc.) and eating disorders. And I hope he would not so blithely recommend gastric "interventions," as he writes a few paragraphs farther down, which not only are often unsuccessful but which carry relatively high risks of death, infection, malnutrition, blood clots, and other consequences.

He writes rather plaintively, toward the end of his editorial, "A lot of obese people got really angry at me for hurting their feelings. But I don't really care that much, as long as we did get some people to adjust their eating and drinking behavior. STOP EATING and DRINKING EXCESSIVELY and STAY HEALTHY."

Tell me, Dr. Lundberg, what is "excessively"? To me it sounds like you think three meals a day is excessive. You think any amount of dessert is excessive. You think any amount of fats or refined carbohydrates is excessive.

Whereas actually, I think you're the excessive one. Your rules, restrictions, and most of all your rigidity and, yes, rage--what do these remind me of? Oh, yes, I remember. They remind me of the rigidity, rules, and rage of an eating disorder. You know, a lot of people think there's nothing wrong with having a little eating disorder, as long as you're not fat.

Those of us who have seen or experienced an eating disorder up close feel rather differently about that, of course. And I'll tell you what I think, Dr. Lundberg: I think you should confine your judgmentalism to yourself. You are free to eat and drink (or not eat and not drink) to your heart's content. You are free to manipulate your weight as much as you want.

And you're free to say whatever you want, of course, just as I am. But I hope to God, Dr. Lundberg, that you might educate yourself a little more before you spout off next time about obesity. I hope you'll talk to some people who know a little more than you about eating disorders and metabolism and all that complicated science-y stuff. I hope you'll talk to some families with children with eating disorders, and listen to them say their daughters and sons developed those eating disorders after middle school wellness classes that scared the crap out of them around being fat.

Until then, I hope you're not a practicing doctor anymore. I would hate to think of anyone I care about experiencing your judgmentalism, rigidity, and rage.

Guest post

Thanks to Amy L. Cambell for letting me write a guest post on her blog, A Librarian's Life in Books.

Campbell asked me to talk about why I wrote the book Brave Girl Eating: A Family's Struggle with Anorexia. I'm glad to have the chance to articulate it, to you as well as to myself.

Hop on over and visit Campbell's blog if you have a chance--I love supporting people who love books!

Distortions

When it comes to talking about eating disorders, there's no end to the distortions that often get trumpeted as "new." If you've had a loved one suffer with an eating disorder you know what I'm talking about. One of the things I teach my magazine journalism students is the fine art of taking a press release and turning it into a compelling and accurate piece of journalism. It's the toughest lesson we do all semester, which is no reflection on them. I think it's a challenging task to pull off, and very few news or public relations entities do it well.

To wit: This story from PR Newswire, whose headline trumpets "Mommy Not Always Dearest During Treatment for Eating Disorders." If you read only the headline and the first paragraph or two you'd come away with the idea that mothers were devastating, damaging, and destructive factors in their daughters' recovery from an eating disorder.

If you can force yourself past those first paragraphs, you'll be able to intuit a slightly more nuanced story. The family therapist quoted in the story, Catherine Weigel Foy, makes comments like "The mother-daughter relationship can be a complicated one." Um, yep. There's nothing particularly ground-breaking or earth-shattering in that statement. She goes on to say, "A mother's love begins before a child is born, and can create an unrealistic expectation that the connection between mothers and daughters will be as strong and free from limitations in adulthood as it was in early infancy."

I'll buy that, too, though perhaps I'm a bit more optimistic than Weigel Foy about the potential for good relationships between mothers and daughters.

Read down another paragraph or two and you find this:

Weigel Foy endorses an introspective look at this unique relationship and believes temporary distance from family members allows many adolescent and teenage girls to feel safe exploring the mother-daughter relationship in ways they haven't been able to during prior treatment for anorexia or bulimia. Weigel Foy and her colleagues at XX XX Residential Treatment Center work together to foster a nurturing environment that helps teen girls gain a realistic view of their relationship with their mothers. In turn, the girl and her mother are better equipped to support each other on their path to recovery.

Aha. Here, ladies and gentlemen, if we are attentive readers, the light bulb goes off. We understand that the piece we're reading isn't journalism at all but PR on behalf of XX XX Residential Treatment Center (I've deleted its name because I don't want to give it more publicity). Weigel Foy may be a good therapist or she may not; we really can't tell from this paraphrasing of her work in the service of publicity.

But certainly, the average reader will come away from the headline and opening paragraphs thinking, "Wow, this doctor thinks mothers are responsible for their daughters' eating disorder and/or get in the way during recovery."

Later in the piece, the writer concludes, "Through residential treatment and therapy this relationship can be explored and these young girls can come to better understand its affect on their diseases – and in turn help build a foundation for lifelong recovery." The mother-daughter relationship is being offered up as a reason to send your child to residential treatment.

Here I must point out that not only is there no evidence whatsoever that the mother-daughter relationship plays a causal or continuing role in eating disorders, but there is also no evidence whatsoever that exploring this relationship helps anyone get over an eating disorder. To the contrary: The most effective treatment for adolescent eating disorders is family-based treatment, which enlists the support of the family--mothers included--to help teens and young adults recover. And when I say "the most effective treatment," I am referring to real studies with real results, not one therapist's opinion (no matter how good she may be).

This kind of media deconstruction is important for everyone these days, as we're bombarded by information. But it seems to be especially imperative in the murky, vague, profit-seeking world of eating disorders treatment. Caveat emptor.

New website

Here's a huge shout-out to my talented husband, photographer Jamie Young, who is creating a new website for me. Take a look and tell me what you think--your input welcome! I'll be posting some of the fall events I've got lined up for the Brave Girl Eating book tour in the days and weeks to come.