Sunday, November 11, 2007

And the next Leaden Fork award goes to . . .

Dr. John Tickell, billed as an "Australian expert in nutrition and weight control," for his passionate campaign to charge obese airline passengers extra for being fat.

"Airlines are buying fuel, and if you are carrying a heavy weight on a plane you have to pay more for it. But instead, the rest of the public is paying for it. It's got to be restricted," said Tickell.

Uh-oh. Do I hear the sound of thin entitlement?

Tickell went on to greater heights of hyperbole with this comment: "Flight attendants in the US have to go down the aisle handing extension seatbelts out like headphones."

Maybe he'd prefer that fat people didn't wear seat belts on a plane. Maybe some bruises and broken bones in case of turbulence would open our eyes to the fact that , golly, we're fat!

Turns out Tickell is ticked off because he was once charged $100 to check golf clubs, while a passenger who "outweighed him and his golf clubs" didn't have to pay extra.

Maybe security should just require surgical removal of excess fat at the checkpoint. That would solve the problem, right, Dr. Tickell?

14 comments:

vesta44 said...

Handing out seatbelt extenders like headphones? Since when? The last time I flew, I was the only person on the whole plane who asked for an extender, and if the seatbelt had been just an inch longer, I wouldn't have needed it at all (and I have 60" hips). He's just bent out of shape because they wouldn't let his golf clubs fly for free.

Meowser said...

I'd be perfectly happy to leave my ass at home when I travel. It can't see anything anyway. All I need is for the good doctor to tell me how it's done, beyond the usual ad hominem "lay off the fries and sodas" bit, since I doubt what little fries and soda I consume actually add up to 200 pounds.

I find it hard to believe that so many people still think fat people exist because society is too tolerant of us. It would be hard for there to be more relentless pressure on us to slim down short of setting up actual concentration camps or throwing us in hard-labor prison, yet there seem to be more of us all the time. Why does nobody seem to make the connection that as fat hate increases, fat itself increases also?

Katy said...

I have an even better idea: since men tend to be bigger than women, they use a greater share of the fuel. How about an airline man-tax?

What a jackass...

Anonymous said...
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nukkingphutz said...

What flight has this "doctor" been on? I'm fat and I don't even need a seatbelt extender. I'm sure there are some that do, but I'd be willing to bet that the majority of us fat people don't.

Anonymous, go find a bridge to hide under with all the other little trolls.

KateHarding said...

I find it hard to believe that so many people still think fat people exist because society is too tolerant of us.

No kidding.

Anonymous said...
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Harriet said...

Anonymous,

You remind me of the kind of guys who tirelessly broadcast their homophobic hate and then get outed in airport bathrooms. Only I have a lot more empathy for them.

Go back under your rock. You don't make the rules here and you've lost your commenting privileges.

littlem said...

"Why does nobody seem to make the connection that as fat hate increases, fat itself increases also?"

Denial. I know you weren't assuming that those who parrot the common parlance were operating from a basis of actual logical analysis.

(I'm also going to get on the psychological research for the actual language to support the contradictory rejoinder, to be repeated ad infinitum in response.)

"It would be hard for there to be more relentless pressure on us to slim down short of setting up actual concentration camps or throwing us in hard-labor prison..."

I'll say it again. Please. Do. NOT. Give. Them. Any. Ideas.

Deja Pseu said...

Gah, Tickell is a yutz.

People are also taller than ever, yet I don't hear anyone clamoring for a surcharge on those 6'4" guys who can't help but sit with their legs spread wide over into your leg space.

Harriet said...

Oh, hear, hear, Deja and Kate. I rather like the idea of an airline man-tax. Hee hee.

carrie said...

Maybe you should have to pay for tickets by the pound... Good grief.

Or why don't they charge more for people with bad BO, since their "essence" wafts over into your space? Or the person who *won't shut up* the entire plane ride?

Vesta- you hit the nail on the head. He's really just peeved he had to pay extra for his golf clubs. Poor guy. Maybe Harriet, you could give him a leaden putter. Hee hee.

ricki said...

There's a big difference between charging someone for excess baggage - like golf clubs - and charging a person extra because they're bigger.

If they want to do a weight surcharge, here's a thought: weigh everyone's bag as it's checked. Then slap on a per-pound-of-luggage fee. Baggage weight consumes fuel just as much as human weight.

at the risk of being branded a child-hater, what about surcharges for families who bring kids on board that relentlessly kick the back of your seat? That's invading my space. (I'd have said crying but even I recognize that sometimes babies can't help crying on a crowded plane. I'd probably cry too if I felt I could get away with it.)

Harriet said...

It's a Modest Proposal. :-)