tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30178203.post7756480644248028659..comments2023-10-31T04:16:04.331-05:00Comments on Feed Me!: DistortionsHarriethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09774535311853591028noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30178203.post-14838901140814071242010-07-27T13:44:56.729-05:002010-07-27T13:44:56.729-05:00You are lucky, Mary B., and your mom is lucky too....You are lucky, Mary B., and your mom is lucky too. And I look forward to hearing that you are recovered and back doing what you want to be doing with your life. Stay in touch!Harriethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09774535311853591028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30178203.post-65510052662223759762010-07-27T12:52:43.136-05:002010-07-27T12:52:43.136-05:00I am currently recovering from an eating disorder ...I am currently recovering from an eating disorder using a very family-centered approach so this post certainly hits close to home. Harriet, I follow your blog closely and, as one dealing with the devastation that is anorexia, I really appreciate what you have to say!!<br />This particular post is interesting to me, because when my mum accompanied me to my first therapy session my therapist told her there was nothing she could do to help; the therapist went so far as to say (without getting to know me at all) that my family may in fact be part of the problem. We couldn't work with that...my own mum was not going to watch me starve myself, she was instead (despite what my awful first therapist said) going to be there for me. We're are working through the recovery process together and honestly, I could not do it without her. While at times I wish she'd leave me alone and let me exercise the day away without so much as a bite, at the end of the day, she is my biggest advocate, and first source of encouragement and support. <br /><br />http://anorexicswhocook.blogspot.comMary Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09490544353660029762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30178203.post-23831974660957267452010-07-26T14:40:23.065-05:002010-07-26T14:40:23.065-05:00I was very disappointed to read that article/ad fo...I was very disappointed to read that article/ad for the treatment centre, too. It's irresponsible to just throw implications around like that - especially as you point out, Harriet - it just seems to be this one therapist's opinion. Apart from anything else, a patient's relationship with her mother is just one of a myriad of factors which may or may not be relevant in her ED, why pick on that one, especially as it's going to create blame/guilt/tension in families.<br />It's so transparent it's manipulating families' and patients' hopes and fears and it's really got nothing new or relevant to say. Reminds me of the bad judgement of ths treatment centre and their advert: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/remove-triggering-ads<br /><br />However, I have to say I think journalistic treatment of EDs has improved overall.Katnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30178203.post-17173969258182827252010-07-25T14:02:36.485-05:002010-07-25T14:02:36.485-05:00Missmarymax,
I think what you are describing is t...Missmarymax,<br /><br />I think what you are describing is the confluence of eating disorders with adolescent development. Most people develop an eating disorder at precisely the time they are working on psychological issues of autonomy and individuation, which is why professionals have conflated the two for so long. <br /><br />The way I see it, it's the eating disorder that disrupts normal adolescent development and individuation. The goal of treatment is to ditch the ED as fast as possible so the person can get back to developing in her own way. It's very empowering indeed to begin to understand your instincts and trust them, and to get distance from your family--every teenager needs this. <br /><br />But you really can't get too far in this process while you're sick with an eating disorder. I respect your experiences, but would like to suggest that for most sufferers most of the time, family support is a positive, nurturing thing. And it helps them get on with the business of living, which includes separating from that family in an appropriate way once they're well.<br /><br />I would also suggest that one reason for the abysmal recovery rate of "traditional" treatments with adolescents is that it has tended to separate the adolescent from her family. As a parent, my feeling has been, let's sort out the guilt, blame, shame, etc. later on, but first let's get down to the business of recovery. Then we'll have the time, luxury, and emotional ability to do the rest of the necessary work.<br /><br />I'm glad you found your way through. And it sounds like your family was helpful much of the time.Harriethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09774535311853591028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30178203.post-10557252605762905642010-07-25T13:08:56.978-05:002010-07-25T13:08:56.978-05:00Well said.
Thank you.
MWell said.<br />Thank you.<br />MAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30178203.post-899542305779803712010-07-25T09:54:10.291-05:002010-07-25T09:54:10.291-05:00Fabulous, thought-provoking post (as usual). ...Th...Fabulous, thought-provoking post (as usual). ...The dominant narrative of mothers somehow "causing" daughter's eating disorders contributed - in my case, at least - to a mother who was terrified/ defensive with nearly every treatment professional we encountered and who worked to control which professionals I saw, based on her sense of whether they blamed her. Now granted, my mother has other issues. (Um, who doesn't?) But I think her (somewhat valid) assumption that she would be considered a contributor to my disease (rather than -- perhaps more accurately -- to my disease AND my recovery) really cut at her. And it set up several of the professionals I saw to either hurt her further or fall into a "your mother is the fabulous exception" pattern that denied how many mothers align with their daughters in recovery AND distorted the complexity of my relationship with mine.<br /><br />All of that said, I do have some concerns regarding the growing "embrace" of FBT/ Maudsley. I know the research supports it, and I'd do anything to see more people receive the most effective treatment... but from a youth rights perspective (as well as one of personal memory), it concerns me somewhat. One of the most empowering moments in my own treatment was when my therapist allowed me to opt out of family therapy, on the assumption that I knew best what participating in that therapy would mean in my home. And the distance I got from my family in residential -- while devastating in many ways -- was also one of the first major steps toward recovery, not just "from" my ed but "of" myself. <br /><br />I realize my experience is not everyone's, and I wouldn't want it to be held up as a prototype. But I'm concerned by how often the term "most effective" treatment is used to imply "universally applicable." 9 years ago, I was ready to get better. Sadly, my family, in many ways, was not.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com